He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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