He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
