It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
