Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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