I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
