shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Randomize
