i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Randomize
