Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
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