I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Randomize
