if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Vodka?
Forever.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
