I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
