Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
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