Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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