what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Pants are for mortals
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
