you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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