She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
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