Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
My vagina just recognized that song.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
