As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
