Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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