Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
