so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
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