I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Randomize
