He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Randomize
