Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
