there's paper in my vomit.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
