I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
