so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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