we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
