About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
