dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
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