Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
