walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
