Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
