have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
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