I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
