Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
