Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
barbara walters just said penis...
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
