How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize
