no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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