If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
