Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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