what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Are my feet made of real feet?
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Randomize
