Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
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