Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Randomize
