Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
