This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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