is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
