haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
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