There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
