i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Randomize
