He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
