So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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